Where do I start?
Disclaimer: my blog posts may be extremely messy as a jumble of thought clusters often pour out of my head before I can translate them into sentences. Sometimes words can’t seem to transcend into what I want. So with that said I will continue…
My journey with Jesus has been a long one starting from when I was a child accepting Him in the car from my car seat and my beautiful mother praying with me. I was three. Which you may ask how I could comprehend Jesus dying for me when I was that young, but I remember it to this day so I suppose I understood enough (that shows just how simple it is to accept the best gift of all). From that moment, He moved me. He played his part in everything I did from gymnastics to theater to cheer. I remember having this overwhelming feeling that one day he would use me to change the world.
Now for starters, I did have an overactive imagination as a child. Not having siblings I created a lot of the world I lived in through stories, imaginary friends and videos. I’ve always had a passion for creating.
Regardless I grew up still attending church regularly and I always had to go on some sort of mission every year because I absolutely loved all the stories I would hear, lives that would change and people I would meet.
I finally went on my first international trip last year to Costa Rica and I was overcome by Gods beauty that manifested in so many ways from the mountainside to the light in the eyes of children. I learned how to be a modest servant and use the talents he gave me to serve others well. I didn’t ever want to leave.
Obviously, I was called back home to go on to college. Now senior year was rough, but first semester of college was a battle I often like to forget. It doesn’t seem like that much could change in a semester, but Jesus turned my life upside down and back around. At the start, I remember feeling in absolute isolation from all I had depended on in the last year: my family, my friends, my church. All comforts were stripped from me. I wanted to drop out, truly. But in that time I was diligent with reading the word every day and I clung to scripture when the darkness tried to overwhelm.
I found community at Summit. A small discipleship group that I could tell everything to and would dive into the word so deeply. I was given welcome arms who wanted to do life with me daily.
I found the Christian community at Chapel Hill to be so special. All different Christian organizations would come together to worship on Tuesday nights or to dance on Fridays. It was never about staying in our own bubbles by ministry, but reaching out to other circles with the same focus to share the good news on campus. A community that shows how his love can change our lifestyles in a way that may look unfun at first, but is filled with utter joy. Because our source is our loving Father who brings the herd together to shepherd us all.
I’m getting off topic, but I found my home when I just gave it a little longer. I learned to be fully dependent on Him when I had nowhere else to turn. So that lead me to the next steps for me which would be City Projects.
City Projects is a unique 8-week program where I get to spread Gods love to the nations as well as locally. I am training to be a true fisher of men.
At first, the money was daunting. I remember being a week away from the first deadline where the plane tickets were bought and having a complete meltdown knowing I only had $200 of the $2000. He told me repeatedly, “I will supply every need.” I pulled myself together and He pulled all the money together. Now at the end, I was a couple days from the $4900 last deadline and in 24 hours he provided $1000 by moving hearts of others to support me. And I wonder why I question him to start with. Support raising has shown me his goodness in new ways. He provides the support because he loves me and even in raising money he wanted to use me to share what he’s done in my life and how he can do this for anyone. He has blessed me with the resources and the way to send me, I am so grateful that He chose me to go and spread his love. I am a humble servant of a mighty God. I am weak and sometimes let my emotions overrun my logic, but he turns that into something good that can share the greatest news of all.
My heart for serving the nations may have been in me for a long while, but He has shown me how passionate I really am to go. The fire inside me has grown to new heights and my love for Him is unlike I have ever felt my entire life.
So that’s a very brief snapshot of my life with Jesus thus far.